my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I would fuck him just for his dog
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
