She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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