I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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