Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
