Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
