My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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