Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
