GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
