my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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