When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
