You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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