making cat noises will not fix the situation.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
