ugly people sure do ruin things
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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