is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
