If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
