At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
