Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
