I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
