I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
