"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
