i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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