I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
