so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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