I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm just crazy horny about you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Randomize
