do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
