this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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