He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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