yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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