Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
