is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
