there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
