your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
