I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
