Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
