Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
