Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
