you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
