I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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