Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
