Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
