She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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