He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You're a waste of cheezeits
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
