marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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