I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
