I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
