i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
