I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
