i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
