Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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