We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
